SORRY ABOUT HIS NORMAL REF...i uh...kind of accidentally saved over the file with only the ‘merged’ layer one so..yeah...i couldn’t really finish shading it and fixing some things...ehehe;;;..../quietly weeps to self /
btw wall of text history sorry (；▽；) ;; gonna go work on his device now aha
rp info : can rp through chatroom / notes / message / skype / msn / google docs just ask ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ but be warned cause sometimes DA glitches and doesn't show notes as being sent or etc orz ◇ n a m e : Xin Lin
◇ D. O. B : November 7th.
◇ a g e : 21
◇ g e n d e r : Male
◇ h e i g h t : 6 " 3
◇ o c c u p a t i o n : art college student / part-time working at an art supply store
◇ z o n e : central
◇ d e m o n i c - w e a p o n : ( magical ) Ice Tonfas ; He uses the ice to form different sized sharp blades on his tonfas to fight with. He can also create small blizzards of sharp ice shards by spinning the tonfa’s fast enough but mainly he attacks using them as blades.
◇ p e r s o n a l i t y : Xin looks to be a perfectly content with his life. Or in better terms, hasn’t found anything that is able to strike a larger emotion in him. This makes him very open to trying new things in order to see f it can trigger that feeling. Yes, Xin does feel emotions, but he it isn’t overly expressive. He is not easily angered, his semi dense way of thinking keeps him from it.
Growing up mostly alone in a sheltered small community and a strict household, emotions were never meant to be a thing to discuss. Paired up with his inability to just throw himself into social circles caused him to become a bit oblivious in his way of thinking. Most questions people ask him he believes are already obvious. While on the other hand he questions things that most people see as being straightforward in their meaning. Asking obvious questions without realizing how the other person may take it can make him come off as inconsiderate at times.
Xin can be selfish, possessive and childish/immature if in the right environment. He does not like to share, and cannot stand the fact of sharing something important to him with others because then it would not longer be ‘his only’. This is a reason why he never draws personal/important things in his art. Because if he did then others will see it and he doesn’t want to share that with others. His childish possessiveness of objects that fascinate him can be overbearing at times. Causing him to sometimes to become easily jealous. Xin craves attention. He doesn’t care much for social attention with others but seeks instead the single personal attention of someone important. He can be selfish in wanting all their undivided attention while not caring about anyone else.
◇ h i s t o r y : Xin was originally from and lived most of his life in Zone 4. He was the only child to his immigrant parents who had moved there from China. His childhood was relatively normal besides the fact that his parents had him following certain unspoken guidelines. In this household emotions were...not something that were openly discussed. Talking about feelings was seen as a waste of time. If you know how you feel, so why should you wish to try and discuss it? Figure it out yourself and do not trouble others. Family time was centered around going over the plans for how his life would go or the reports from his teachers. His parents constantly telling him what he should be doing better at and never asking more 'personal' things. Xin didn’t know anything different besides this way of life, and so didn’t feel ‘upset’ by his parent’s treatment of him. He believed that this was the ‘normal’ way. For 12 years he continued living like this. But the arrival of a distant cousin changed everything.....
She was two years older then him. She was beautiful in every way, from the perfect structure of her face to the way her long hair tumbled down her shoulders. He loved just watching her any moment he could. She became his whole world. She had come to live with them in the City. Her parents had passed away and his parents had agreed to take her in since they were the few remaining relatives related to her in some way. She had been traumatized by the sudden passing, refusing to go to school and instead opted to just staying at the house while only he attended. His parents adored her for how much of a help she was. In this small town there was nothing much to do besides keep each other company. They became close to one another, continuing this relationship until he was 16 and she was 18. He had never before had someone ‘close’ to him and it was no surprise that eventually his like for her turned into something romantic.Looking back at these memories, he isn’t even sure if what he felt for her really was ‘love’ or was just some obsession over having someone look only at him. With her he grew to find out about the feeling of being one’s ‘only’ and having someone’s personal attention on him. Something his parents never gave him. He did not know how to handle these new emotions that he never experienced. At school he had always been by himself, his sense of emotions vague due to the environment he grew up in. But now things began to change. He became selfish, jealous and possessive. And above all he worshipped her like a goddess. Even though they were blood related, they were distant cousins. And such a thing was not uncommon in China, his parents were happy to see them getting along and ignore his boy school crush on her. He had a side hobby of drawing, but this hobby didn’t grow into something bigger until she came. After that his art improved greatly as he spent most of his free time trying to capture the beauty he saw in her onto paper. Over and over he would draw her in every way imaginable. But this close relationship forged in Zone 4 soon came to a closing end. The art he made of her was recognized by his teacher and sent in to a few small contests. After winning places in a few of them he found himself suddenly somewhat ‘famous’ in their small community. But he wasn’t the only one, she also became well known. She who had only eyes for him and never wandered out to the public was now the center of attention. She gained fans, admirers and new friends who were enchanted by this mysterious beauty they had never noticed before. She began to stray away from him....he now was back to being alone. She was no longer only his, and it was his fault for showing her off to the rest of the world.
“ And now you'll only belong to me. "
She had betrayed him. She was no longer only his, no longer always by his side. Her attention no longer only his to take. In his eyes she seemed to love the attention and it pushed him further into jealousy. At the dinner table one day there became talk as his parents, excited that their ‘daughter’ was becoming well known started to pressure her into trying out for modeling. She had been getting a few requests after some people have stumbled across the art Xin had made of her that won the contests. They even began talk about allowing her to have her own apartment in central while she looked for modeling jobs. Xin’s anger hit its highest point when he imagined her leaving him behind. Why can’t you stay with me? That night after dinner he hurried to his room, throwing himself onto his bed. His thoughts running rampage at the mixed emotions he felt. And without any further thinking he left his room and headed next door to hers. She sat on the bed and smiled at him when he entered. Her eyes widening in confusion when he placed his hands around her neck, pushing her forcefully down onto the mattress. She gasped, her legs flailing at the sudden assault. But she did not scream.... He wasn’t sure why, but in the last few seconds that ticked by as he strangled the breath from her perfect lips...she smiled. Her struggling ceased as she just looked and stared back towards him before they became lifeless. It wasn’t until that moment did it dawn on him what he had done. He instantly let go of her neck, jumping off the bed. With tears beginning to stream down his face he began to break down into sobs. His parents, eventually noticing the racket came into the room and saw the horrifying scene. Even though they were strict with him, they still did truly love their son and their niece. It was rather easy to cover up her death. They didn’t have any other realitives and none of them had bothered to keep in contact with them anyways to realize that they haven’t heard from her in a while. She didn’t attend school still, and rarely ever went into public places in the town. To the people in the community they put on a happy face. Telling everyone that she had decided to return to China to try and make it big in the industry. It didn’t seem so far fetched since it was mentioned once or twice that they did have other relatives over there. And none of the people in the community were as ‘close’ to her as he had previously thought and did not make an effort to try and get her contact information. Years passed and Xin graduated high school. He then moved to central where he now attends an art school. He currently lives on his own in an apartment on the border of central and zone 2. His parents to send over money to help for various things but most of it is money he has earned doing freelance projects, contests prizes and also from his part time jobs.
The murder was done based on the assumptions of an over emotional teenager who was afraid to lose something very important to him. Xin does regret the murder, but deep down inside also doesn’t. Now in his memory he could preserve her as she was while no one else would have the chance to see her as he did. No, Xin is not still in love with her. After sorting through his feelings and thinking over it for a good few years, he grew to realized what he had felt for her was ‘fascination’ not love. He had mistaken the first person he grew close to as being a crush. And since he did not have many things of his ‘own’ growing up he sees that as the reason as to why he committed the act. He knows better now not to let those emotions take him over. However he still feels uneasy that he’ll be able to stop himself from feeling that possessive or jealous towards another person that may become important to him in the future.
◇ l i k e s & d i s l i k e s : • likes egg tarts , rice , ginger candy , strong/bitter tea, odd combinations of food, drawing the female body • dislikes strong perfume, most alcohol, coffee
◇ e x t r a - f a c t s : • although he is Chinese, he never learned the language • thinks getting drunk is pointless as well as doing drugs or smoking ; there are a lot of different ways to feel 'good' then using things that will turn your brain into garbage • doesn't shy away from using good money to buy his clothes however does eat really cheap food • likes to use a pen to sketch with , usually found drawing women ( especially drawn to those who resemble his cousin )